YOUR BOYFRIEND MUST NOT BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR ROMMMATE!!

LETTERS TO MY SISTER

YOUR BOYFRIEND MUST NOT BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR ROOMMATE!

This is quite the entire truth – I am so proud of the wonderful woman you have grown into. Such an amazing lady and a pretty one for that matter that you are becoming and it draws very pleasant smiles on my face anytime I play back the moments.

Wow, it hasn’t been that long has it? Do you still remember how we gave daddy so much trouble anytime he was supposed to babysit us? I feel so bad now even as I remember that particular day when we took out his new suit jackets and painted them with our poster colors? Aww, the look on his face that afternoon was classic and knowing how much he would not beat us up has made me feel so guilty growing up now. 

 

         

And of course, I can’t imagine my life without a sister. Sometimes, I pity those who don’t have sisters and wonder how they are able to cope although it is usually no fault of theirs.

Considering the difference in our ages, I can say that I’ve seen quite more than you have in this life. That’s the same way there are some terrible mistakes I’ve made and equally more terrible ones I have witnessed that I think I should bring to your attention because we are all growing and we need all the education, exposure and information necessary to make us more cautious and better in this life.

Though mistakes are meant to happen, many more can be avoided.

I have given this very long and careful thoughts and have come to a decision that I hope you are comfortable with. So, in the coming months, I will be writing letters to you. These letters are to share with you, certain things you MUST know. More especially as you are preparing to enter the university soon, I think the details of this first letter would come in handy.

I know you are very eager to enter the university and it is not normal more so because of the experiences I have been sharing with you. Now, let me share something basic with you.

First things first - being in the university is a totally different experience altogether. And over there, you don’t only go there to bury your heads in books with the proverbial aim of making a First Class. Well, I must confess that I want a First Class too but it is does not also mean anything short of that means I would hate my own achievements. 

In fact, not everybody goes to the university to learn – note that. I remember too well a former mate of mine, Nelson, who was only in school because of all the people in his family, he was the only one yet to bet at least a first degree. He was carefree and unperturbed about everything and practically because he was from a wealthy family, he never repeated a class although he wrote a number of referred papers. He took a transfer out of this school though but the point I am making here is that some people are only in school because they want to belong - ‘I was there some.’

The university is also a place where you meet different kinds of people from all walks of life, establish new contacts, amongst other life-essential encounters.

Let’s cut the long chase short and get straight to the point.

I don’t doubt you getting admission into your university of choice to read a course of your choice and unless you are heavy in your pocket, you wouldn’t need to share a room with anyone. Hostel life is another tale on its own and that is why I am only limiting it to your room issues. And besides, the hostel is not like your home. 

Even at home, don’t the two of us share a room? Yeah, and trust me, it can get very boring sleeping alone in a room when at the hostel. The only option you might have is to share a room with one or two persons who become what we term here your RUMIE.

But note that this also largely depends on the size of the room you get to rent.

And as the years of your stay in the university decrease with time, there is something that accompanies the change - your roommates get to change from semester to semester. Now this is where my concern comes into proper perspective.

Never let your boyfriend be friends with your roommate.

This might sound too shallow or something you might consider not right with you asking so many questions. I have heard concerns such as what if my boyfriend wants to roommate and I out or what if, for instance, I get stranded or misplace my phone and he wants to check up on me through my roommate’s line?

What if ……..?

There is definitely nothing wrong with this – definitely.

But, can I share a story with you?

Please.

Benewaa and Etorman were not just roommates in their first year in the university. They were best friends and were convincingly a good pair until a man came between them. Before they met in school however, Benewaa had broken up with her boyfriend under some very interesting circumstances. Etornam never met Benewaa’s ex and had not seen any pictures of him because according to her, the breakup was so mysterious that she had decided not to keep any images of him. She only wanted to stay single.

Then one day, Etornam decided to introduce her new boyfriend to Benewaa. That day, she did not only introduce them but insisted they exchanged contacts so her boyfriend, Joe, could have a backup number through which he could reach her on.

 

Benewaa and Etorman were not just roommates in their first year in the university. They were best friends and were convincingly a good pair until a man came between them. Before they met in school however, Benewaa had broken up with her boyfriend under some very interesting circumstances. Etornam never met Benewaa’s ex and had not seen any pictures of him because according to her, the breakup was so mysterious that she had decided not to keep any images of him. She only wanted to stay single.

Then one day, Etornam decided to introduce her new boyfriend to Benewaa. That day, she did not only introduce them but insisted they exchanged contacts so her boyfriend, Joe, could have a backup number through which he could reach her on.

But unknown to Etornam, Benewaa’s mysterious breakup was with this same guy and she had mentioned nothing about it. Not even once until the day Benewaa left her phone, which hitherto she would guard with such exaggeration as a fowl would its chick, unlocked.

The continuous beeping sounds from the phone only got Etornam to notice and out of curiosity, attempt to silence the phone while she waited for Benewaa’s return. Just then, another message popped up on the screen that read, “Yesterday was explosive. That sex was unbelievable and to think that you would never have done it with me in the laboratory washroom. You are amazing.”

And being even more curious from reading this, Etornam decided to open the profile picture to find out who was getting her friend’s attention so much that she had decided to keep it a secret from her.

“No!” she exclaimed.

“Noooooo!!!” she screamed even the more when she realized it was the very thing she feared that was now staring her in the face – her boyfriend was cheating on her and it was with her friend; her roommate.

It was a very difficult breakup to go through but Etornam managed it and learnt her lessons from that experience quite well. 

Sissy, this is a true picture of what the Bible refers to as the heart of man is desperately wicked. It happens and if we all have the chance, we should arm ourselves enough not to fall into this trap.

So, take this from me - at least from my little experience from being in the university for four years. I have come across ladies whose friendships hit the rocks, turning sour all because of a man. It is even worse when they are both roommates or have been roommates before. And the genesis of such situations has mostly been when

one of them decides to allow her friend too much private space into her boyfriend life. They go as far as exchanging numbers.

Your roommate being friends with your boyfriend means that, she can interfere with your relationship. She would always want to be updated on what’s happening in your relationship. If care is not taken, before you know it, she could be sharing in the privileges your boyfriend gives you, sharing the presents he brings you too.

Your roommate could at some point start controlling your relationship for you because she’ll be the one advising you on how to run the relationship. Your relationship!

Except you get a roommate who already wants to comfort herself in her little corner, paying heed to only her business without being unusually interreptive in your life, the possibility of you getting a rumie who would want to know everything that goes on in your life especially in your relationship is 7/10.

See, once in a while your boyfriend might come around to your hostel to visit you and he might meet your roommate. Watch so that they don’t get too comfortable around each other. Never allow them exchange contacts. Don’t discuss your roommate with your boyfriend neither must you discuss your boyfriend with your roommate – at least not every time he sneezes.

I’m not saying you should be secretive. Once in a while, you’ll find yourself discussing your boyfriend with your roommate but don’t give out too much detail – be smart.

Do not make that terrible mistake. This is an avoidable mistake and the only way to avoid this is to keep your boyfriend away from your roommate. Keep your relationship issues away from her.

As you await your entry into the university, I wish you nothing but the best.

I have a strong feeling this information has been helpful but if not, kindly write back to me and let me read from where you disagree.

Until I write to you again, it’s bye.

Your Sister,

Mamavi.