LETTERS TO MY SISTER
YOUR BOYFRIEND MUST NOT BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR ROOMMATE!
This
is quite the entire truth – I am so proud of the wonderful woman you have grown
into. Such an amazing lady and a pretty one for that matter that you are
becoming and it draws very pleasant smiles on my face anytime I play back the
moments.
Wow,
it hasn’t been that long has it? Do you still remember how we gave daddy so
much trouble anytime he was supposed to babysit us? I feel so bad now even as I
remember that particular day when we took out his new suit jackets and painted
them with our poster colors? Aww, the look on his face that afternoon was
classic and knowing how much he would not beat us up has made me feel so guilty
growing up now.
And
of course, I can’t imagine my life without a sister. Sometimes, I pity those
who don’t have sisters and wonder how they are able to cope although it
is usually no fault of theirs.
Considering
the difference in our ages, I can say that I’ve seen quite more than you have
in this life. That’s the same way there are some terrible mistakes I’ve made
and equally more terrible ones I have witnessed that I think I should bring to
your attention because we are all growing and we need all the education,
exposure and information necessary to make us more cautious and better in this
life.
Though
mistakes are meant to happen, many more can be avoided.
I
have given this very long and careful thoughts and have come to a decision that
I hope you are comfortable with. So, in the coming months, I will be writing
letters to you. These letters are to share with you, certain things you MUST
know. More especially as you are preparing to enter the university soon, I
think the details of this first letter would come in handy.
I
know you are very eager to enter the university and it is not normal more so
because of the experiences I have been sharing with you. Now, let me share
something basic with you.
First
things first - being in the university is a totally different experience altogether.
And over there, you don’t only go there to bury your heads in books with the
proverbial aim of making a First Class. Well, I must confess that I want a
First Class too but it is does not also mean anything short of that means I
would hate my own achievements.
In
fact, not everybody goes to the university to learn – note that. I remember too
well a former mate of mine, Nelson, who was only in school because of all the
people in his family, he was the only one yet to bet at least a first degree.
He was carefree and unperturbed about everything and practically because he was
from a wealthy family, he never repeated a class although he wrote a number of
referred papers. He took a transfer out of this school though but the point I
am making here is that some people are only in school because they want to
belong - ‘I was there some.’
The
university is also a place where you meet different kinds of people from all
walks of life, establish new contacts, amongst other life-essential encounters.
Let’s
cut the long chase short and get straight to the point.
I
don’t doubt you getting admission into your university of choice to read a
course of your choice and unless you are heavy in your pocket, you wouldn’t need
to share a room with anyone. Hostel life is another tale on its own and that is
why I am only limiting it to your room issues. And besides, the hostel is not
like your home.
But note that this also largely depends on the size of the room you get to rent.
And
as the years of your stay in the university decrease with time, there is
something that accompanies the change - your roommates get to change from
semester to semester. Now this is where my concern comes into proper perspective.
Never let your boyfriend be friends
with your roommate.
This
might sound too shallow or something you might consider not right with you
asking so many questions. I have heard concerns such as what if my boyfriend
wants to roommate and I out or what if, for instance, I get stranded or misplace
my phone and he wants to check up on me through my roommate’s line?
What
if ……..?
There
is definitely nothing wrong with this – definitely.
But,
can I share a story with you?
Please.
Benewaa
and Etorman were not just roommates in their first year in the university. They
were best friends and were convincingly a good pair until a man came between
them. Before they met in school however, Benewaa had broken up with her
boyfriend under some very interesting circumstances. Etornam never met
Benewaa’s ex and had not seen any pictures of him because according to her, the
breakup was so mysterious that she had decided not to keep any images of him.
She only wanted to stay single.
Then
one day, Etornam decided to introduce her new boyfriend to Benewaa. That day, she
did not only introduce them but insisted they exchanged contacts so her
boyfriend, Joe, could have a backup number through which he could reach her on.
Benewaa
and Etorman were not just roommates in their first year in the university. They
were best friends and were convincingly a good pair until a man came between
them. Before they met in school however, Benewaa had broken up with her
boyfriend under some very interesting circumstances. Etornam never met
Benewaa’s ex and had not seen any pictures of him because according to her, the
breakup was so mysterious that she had decided not to keep any images of him.
She only wanted to stay single.
Then
one day, Etornam decided to introduce her new boyfriend to Benewaa. That day, she
did not only introduce them but insisted they exchanged contacts so her
boyfriend, Joe, could have a backup number through which he could reach her on.
But
unknown to Etornam, Benewaa’s mysterious breakup was with this same guy and she
had mentioned nothing about it. Not even once until the day Benewaa left her
phone, which hitherto she would guard with such exaggeration as a fowl would
its chick, unlocked.
The
continuous beeping sounds from the phone only got Etornam to notice and out of
curiosity, attempt to silence the phone while she waited for Benewaa’s return.
Just then, another message popped up on the screen that read, “Yesterday was
explosive. That sex was unbelievable and to think that you would never have
done it with me in the laboratory washroom. You are amazing.”
And
being even more curious from reading this, Etornam decided to open the profile
picture to find out who was getting her friend’s attention so much that she had
decided to keep it a secret from her.
“No!”
she exclaimed.
“Noooooo!!!”
she screamed even the more when she realized it was the very thing she feared
that was now staring her in the face – her boyfriend was cheating on her and it
was with her friend; her roommate.
It
was a very difficult breakup to go through but Etornam managed it and learnt
her lessons from that experience quite well.
Sissy,
this is a true picture of what the Bible refers to as the heart of man is
desperately wicked. It happens and if we all have the chance, we should arm
ourselves enough not to fall into this trap.
So, take this from me
- at least from my little experience from being in the university for four years.
I have come across ladies whose friendships hit the rocks, turning sour all
because of a man. It is even worse when they are both roommates or have been
roommates before. And the genesis of such situations has mostly been when
one
of them decides to allow her friend too much private space into her boyfriend
life. They go as far as exchanging numbers.
Your
roommate being friends with your boyfriend means that, she can interfere with
your relationship. She would always want to be updated on what’s happening in
your relationship. If care is not taken, before you know it, she could be
sharing in the privileges your boyfriend gives you, sharing the presents he
brings you too.
Your
roommate could at some point start controlling your relationship for you
because she’ll be the one advising you on how to run the relationship. Your
relationship!
Except
you get a roommate who already wants to comfort herself in her little corner,
paying heed to only her business without being unusually interreptive in your
life, the possibility of you getting a rumie
who would want to know everything that goes on in your life especially in your
relationship is 7/10.
See,
once in a while your boyfriend might come around to your hostel to visit you
and he might meet your roommate. Watch so that they don’t get too comfortable
around each other. Never allow them exchange contacts. Don’t discuss your
roommate with your boyfriend neither must you discuss your boyfriend with your
roommate – at least not every time he sneezes.
I’m
not saying you should be secretive. Once in a while, you’ll find yourself
discussing your boyfriend with your roommate but don’t give out too much detail
– be smart.
Do
not make that terrible mistake. This is an avoidable mistake and the only way
to avoid this is to keep your boyfriend away from your roommate. Keep your
relationship issues away from her.
As
you await your entry into the university, I wish you nothing but the best.
I
have a strong feeling this information has been helpful but if not, kindly
write back to me and let me read from where you disagree.
Until
I write to you again, it’s bye.
Your
Sister,
Mamavi.
